Since young I have always been a chubby child.
Compared to my older sister who is always tinier and skinnier, I'm always mistaken as the older one.
Other people would joke and ask if I snatched all of my sister's food from her that's why our body size differ so much.
I recently saw a picture of myself when I was around 10.
My tummy was so huge that it actually covered half of the waist pouch that I was wearing.
Whenever I go out with my friends, I would never dare to eat much coz I was afraid of the teasing that I might get.
Munching on a snack when I'm out in public was also a no no coz I didn't want people to think that, "this girl should stop eating and start losing some weight".
In primary school and secondary school, I was in the Trim and Fit (TAF) club (if you read it backwards, it actually says "FAT").
It's basically a programme that targeted on obese children in Singapore schools and these students were educated on nutrition and made to participate in intense physical activity.
In my secondary school, we had to do exercises early in the morning before school assembly at the front porch where the parents dropped off their kids.
To me, it was quite embarrassing as it's hard to avoid judgemental stares from the parents, your schoolmates and also your teachers.
While all the other kids can start school feeling fresh and clean, I had to start mine feeling all sweaty, smelly and lethargic.
During recess time, we had to do exercises at the quadrangle while other kids get to go to the canteen to get their break time snacks.
Weight taking was also part of the routine and I have always hated to do that in front of all the other students.
If I knew that I had weight taking the next day, I would starve myself from the night before onwards.
I felt that this system was not effective for me as it only lowered my self esteem further with the teasing that I received from my peers.
I was more demoralised than encouraged.
In 2007, this programme was abolished due to the increasing number of schoolgirls developing eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia.
Being slim has always been something that I yearn for but have not achieved so far.
I will always have random motivations when I see weight losing articles, hear stories from my friends or even just seeing a slim girl walking pass would make me really envious and jealous of them.
However, these motivations never really lasted for long.
2 years ago, I went on a full Special K diet for two weeks.
I did lose a few kilos but my body couldn't take that for long.
One night, I had severe gastric pain where I had to be sent to the hospital immediately.
I was given morphine to relieve the pain and was forced by the nurses to eat.
I know where my problem lies and I'm trying to work on it.
I want to be able to share my successful weight loss story with people to further motivate them to be healthy and fit and make them believe based on one more real life example.
I'm looking forward to that day.
